Am I where I ought to be?

As I sat down tonight and gathered the scattered remains of my self and the memories over last couple of weeks, I managed to reach to a logical conclusion. Sometimes, a logical conclusion leading to self-accusation does a lot better than looking to blame others for your own situation or condition. I realised that the state where life has brought me today is merely because of the conscious choices I made and the path I took. Notwithstanding, the reasons behind making such a choice, I should accept the responsibility of my own actions and consequentially if I have ended up bearing my fingers burnt; its because of none other but my own self. This brings me to peace, however, have made me question my existence as to where I stand.

Being a woman is both challenging and charming. We have grown up reading that God created us from a man's rib, so as not to be superior or inferior than him but to be held close right next to his heart, to be loved and looked after. However, what we often miss out connecting, despite being taught during early ethics and religious lessons is that, wherever a woman ever comes in contact with another man, she is either a mother, sister, wife or daughter. The trouble begins exactly where we depart from this basic lesson and tend to enter into arrangements which are a product of new era of an enlightened modern society - which makes us something other than a mother, daughter, wife or sister.

Human beings had and will always require a code to be humans. That's exactly why we often tend to face disappointments and despair upon entering into relationship that lacks governance and an ethical code. A daughter is most protected in her father's space because she is created from his sperm and blood. Human beings do not harm something which they consider a part of themselves. A son always holds, or should hold, his mother on the highest pedestal because he has grown up believing on things like, "since God is not everywhere so He made mothers", or "if heaven dwells anywhere on earth, it is beneath your mother's feet". Similarly, there's been a huge lot of do's' and dont's both in the religion and society that governs the husband-wife relationship. So much so, that people in the West are refraining from entering into such a well-bounded, highly regulated and extremely governed relationship. I am not an extremist or the so-called fundamentalist. I am not even an overly religious or strictly rigorous individual. I am neither completely against the concept of man-woman being friends, although such a relation hardly exists in substance. It took me more than a decade and a number of broken fallacies to realize this brutal fact. The notion of man-woman friendship, though extremely rare a possibility in itself, exists only to the extent to which it doesn't outer-perform the gender dynamics - which, by the way tend to rise higher as the interaction between the two increases. 

If you ever find yourself dissatisfied in a relationship with a man, which makes you something else other than those mentioned aforesaid, you'd know where you went wrong. Crossing a line doesn't always mean infidelity or indulgence. Nevertheless, if you feel you have been unjustly victimized or unequally treated, sooner or later you should find yourself asking if you are where you ought to be. World is a beautiful place and so are our parents' homes, unfortunately for all those things that function without a predefined code or well-established procedure, experiencing a mess becomes inevitable. If you ever have stepped in or have found yourself in a bonding with a man sans a code, regardless of how time honoured or deeper it is, you are bound to get hurt. After all its far much easier for a man to break those rules that have never been set and flexing those boundaries which you have yourself started compromising upon. 

For all those woman experiencing a heart ache out there, if you find your self in a relationship which makes you anything but all those you should be, sooner or later you'd find your self in a state you wouldn't want to be in. After all the responsibility to keep ourselves protected and secured comes down to no other man but our selves.



Poets of the fall- Beautiful ones: www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtWvNvcTFys‎

With the grace of a woman...