Fears of the Fall

Autumn with its one million colours of mauve, rust and yellow ended. Leaving memories, some pleasant, and the rest not-so-pleasant... oh well. As winter is drawing in, I feel myself stagnating into an abyss of glumness. Perhaps, the effect of weather spreading the somberness all around me, through every aching bone in my body. The feeling honeycombs within, filling the mind and heart with hopelessness. Although, I am not sure if weather alone is the reason behind the melancholy; however, it seems like one of the most apparent causes. If so, weather alone can become a leading factor to many things in life. 

I steep into this cavity often. I don't know what is the force behind it? But it feels as if the mind is flooded with a billion thoughts, as undefined in the subconscious memory, as if they are unknown to my actual existence. It takes less than a fraction of a second to drown into this emptiness, but requires a fast-pulling force to sneak out of it. Some call it depression; the rest call it a hormonal imbalance.  I think of it as something else entirely. Precisely, it's the biggest problem of my life. This race needs to end, these thoughts need to curtail. Somewhere, something tells what could lead to these clustered sequences of drab and fade; yet a part of me wants to explore beyond the obvious. I am on my mettle to figure out what it is.

Inner peace - where are you?

Lost in the chasm of space and time