Back to December...

So this is me lifting my heavy feet and injured hands towards you, raising an emblem to hold, stop and run behind,
So this is me back to December when your sparkling eyes glowed from behind your specs that made you look like a beauty,
Your tan skin, those warm tapestries, polka dots, that smile...
So this is me visualizing you follow me with that zest and frown,
Those days that were the best of my life because you made them that way,
That small talk, gossip sessions, fairy tales and the colours of our life,
The fits of laughter, pointless humour, the freedom...
I'd go back to December all the time,
I'd go back in time and swish a flick and make it alright,
I'd fixate at a place and hold you just to see if you stop breathing again,
I know you would but I'd just take a chance,
I'd go back in time and die again with you just to relive those sweet moments,
I'd go back and re-experience what it is like to be alive because i have forgotten how it felt,
I'd go back in time and feel my heart beating, which is now still since you left,
I think about it all the time,
I'd lay down to the sand dunes and sweep myself with the winds that blow,
I'd learn magic and make you smile just like that summer night,
I'd walk behind in my tracks,
I'd go back to December all the time....

Aey Wakt, Tham Jaa, Teher Jaa, Wapis Zara Daur Peeche

Smallest coffins are the heaviest.

All PTI suckers, please excuse any derogatory interpretation out of this.

Beloved Imran,

You talk about Naya Pakistan and all sorts of bullshit associated to it? Do us a favor, give us the Old Pakistan back--the one that Jinnah made. Whether it was a right decision or wrong, factually, he made a state. We lost it to scoundrels. And then more scoundrels. And just when we thought we have found hope, we realized the clown on the podium is you.

An impeccable blindfold is tied onto the eyes of the awam. But I think there are those, and then some who can tell black from white, and oil from vinegar. You can go ahead and create a Naya Pakistan once you discharge your responsibility that you so boisterously achieved. You want to build a Naya Pakistan? Well, charity begins at home. What to talk of anything when the least bit that was required was providing security to a school in Peshawar? And then you want to start walking the footsteps of a "Naya Pakistan" from outside of the President House in Islamabad, and then grab a niche to famous spot in Lahore, then trot to Karachi and shut the city down?

You piece of uber shit, the walk begins from STREET LEVEL. Stop swinging in and out of the cabinet. Take some onus of fulfilling what was required of you. And then we can shed some light on the "Naya Pakistan" the nation so desperately awaits. Enough talking has been done, with the Talibans, as well as on the containers. It's time some practical implication needs to be imposed.

All PTI fanatics, do me a favor, open your eyes. I know, my views will hurt many. But politics is never a crunchy apple. If one side is so vibrant, the other WILL be poisoned. Learn to tell the poison from the pure. And learn it, already.

Go, Imran, take the first train to where you are supposed to. Do what needs to be done. And then you can scream about "Naya Pakistan" and "Dhandlee" all you want. Take your drunk self off the container for once and feel liable for what the nation has lost--innocent souls.

Oh and before you go, do let us know how you plan to trot the red carpet on New Years' Eve this time, maybe with a whiskey over a round of "negotiations" with our misguided Taliban brothers, eh? 

Best,

A Pakistani DONE with your drama. 

This is a rant. Forgive me.

Can Imran Khan, for the love of all that is Holy, be at least even a little polite in his speeches? Honestly, if your speeches are making me cringe, rest assured, I would be reluctant to even accept whatever is right with your accusations.

Also, PMLN, "Aap sab ghar jayein, Imran Khan tou siyaasi khudkushi ker raha hai, waise hum muzaakraat ke liye tayaar hain" can be added to "A guide on what not to say in case you want negotiations 101."

I agree that the elections were rigged, I agree that the electoral process has a million loopholes and then some, but that is what parliaments are for, oh graduate of Oxford. You sit yourself down in the parliaments and you pass a bill and then you get the votes on it and then you proceed from there. There are two hundred ways to reform your electoral process, dharnas are the not one of them. Don't make me doubt your qualifications Imran.

Someone remind Saad Rafiq that he was caught rigging the elections, on camera. In the words of Captain America, "Son, just don't."

Imran Khan has turned Islamabad into the party capital of Asia, and well, "enjoyz lein" because if this government falls, that will be a solid step backwards for democracy. Stop with the resignation demand, heavens above, I beseech you. Aur yeh, "Pakistan democracy deserve nai kerta" waali awam, aapko apne ghar mei khush rahein.

It took you three days to form a negotiation committee, PMLN. And while the formation of a judiciary committee two days before the march, was rather clever and calculating of you, the entire country is still waiting on updates about it.

I understand if you don't support Imran Khan right now, but do you really, honestly and truly want to quote Maulana Fazl-ur-Rehman or Maryam Nawaz or Bilawal Bhutto as your defense? Do you REALLY?

There are a million reasons to disapprove of this march, "Loag naach rahe hain" or "Gaaney baj rahe hain" comes way down that list.

"He is standing in the rain, he leads from the front," waali baatein naa kerein. Karachi mein baarish hui tou aadhe sheher ne baahar aa ke khara hojana hai.

This isn't black and white and this isn't PMLN vs. PTI. 

I even understand where IK's sentiments are coming from. Nobody in their right minds would deny that the elections were rigged. But the electoral reform needs to be brought in through the parliament. If this government fails to complete its term, we will be dragged back to the politics of 1990s with Imran Khan cosplaying as Benazir Bhutto. Nobody wants that. 

Nawaz Sharif is as important in the government as Imran Khan is in the opposition. The country can not afford to lose this balance. Electoral reforms are needed, but they are supposed to come from the parliament. Nobody perfects democracy in the first attempt, but that doesn't mean you risk the system in an attempt to straighten it out.

Now that was definitely a rant. Forgive me.

The dust and haze--let it sway: Note to my dearest Captain!

Dear Captain,

As i begin to reiterate that I fully respect your intentions, trust your goals, and withhold massive veneration for your opinions, I beg to differ on a few fronts. Before I start quoting facts, kindly know that I am not one of those stubborns pro-PMLN driven jerks. Instead, I have swung numerously between staying a pro-PTI follower to neutralizing my views based on current affairs. Therefore, my resolve to support your motives but resent your means to avail them is a well-thought decision. 

First of all, I would like to question the very foundation of your party. Not that I was not aware of it before, but are you a democrat? I have my doubts. I did not raise this earlier because it was not laying contradictory to your actions. But now that the haze has vaporized and here we are under the shining sun, let us keep a few things in perspective. 

My dear captain, the party you are heading may be democratic. But what is ironic is that you are not, by any means a democrat. PTI is a full-blown democratic party but how is it that the very leader is a dictator? And while many of our fellow supporters will have a concrete response to this one, I would like you to crosscheck those responses with your current course of action.

Negotiations, peace talks and anything that shares any euphemism with a "round table conference" sounds futile to more than the most. Then how is it that your beloved highness was so pro-peace talks with our dear Taliban brothers, but wholly dismisses the idea of the same being implemented within your own chamber of government? What definition of democracy do you have to satisfy this with? 

Your objectives are undoubtedly passionately stirred with enthusiasm and sincerity for "the land of the pure", or should i say, "the land of the confused". What I miserably fail to fathom is the hurry out there. Oh yes! 18 years are far too long and while impatience may be capable of soaring to unknown heights, what is up with the emotional screenplay?

Now the brunt of your journey lies in the very means you have opted to achieve it. One of the many things should be on the table right now is knowing what you are getting your hands into. What the hell do you want? Do you want to cause disruption in your Federal Capital or show how pathetic and incapable of being called a leader our current Prime Minister is? Oh well, he is beyond incapable for that position but frankly, what is your deal?

Until last year, your agenda was those four constituencies be audited for rigging. Your current demand is that the Prime Minister should resign from the office. Are you facing any symptoms of bipolarity? Oh wait, is it tripolarity? What ballgame is that? A speech where you scream your lungs out and urge that the parliament begets to dissolution does not appear sane, to say the least. Nor is that a just cause. Park aside justice for a minute, it is abnormal. What do you possibly want the "awam" to make out of this? The fact that you want to come into power for the sake of Pakistan or that you want to overthrow the current regime and proclaim yourself the Prime Minister for the term to follow--what to believe? Because if you were aiming for the former to happen, then here is the good news. The army and the government have agreed that the 2013 elections will be scrutinized. Now, you can collect your troops to a junction and set your blind followers free. But why haven't you? Because that is just not what you want. Your deal is that Nawaz walks out of the office like your baby once did at the age of 6. It is not so simple, or is it? Actually, it is not, but that's how you exhibit it.

While i continue to respect your motives all the same, I find it baffling to ascertain how entering red zone was a mature stand. I may be losing my false teeth as you made those big plans, I would still like some insight on how instilling this strange sense of fear among the populace was a wise call. Are you in a blindfold or do you think the population is bound by it? How is it that one can turn a leaf upon the stark visibility of the scenario expounding no benefits for anyone but our Army. How is it that you expect or even think the awam to not see that through and through? If you fail to act your age or exercise any semblance of it, do not expect the awam to fall for the same. The fact is that your party is working under pretext of the Army. So, is Pakistan your goal or the army's? Though I would still cut you some slack based on your track record hoping that you can still be trusted, i fail to envisage how polarizing the city into a plague of nasty mushrooms justifies it? How assertive of you to breed grounds for the army to kick-in, but right before that happens, scream to the media and issue a so-called "warning" for the Prime Minister that if the army does exercise control, the stake is on them. Actually, I'm impressed! "Woah, you inexperienced little brat", says a voice in my head to myself.

I am seemingly one of those from this nation who fail to see your greatness and glorified tactics that impart one thing, exhibit another and produce a third version of the first two. What is different about us is that I see York, Bastille, March of Women to Versailles and the great French revolution as components of history and I condemn this to repeat itself at the pace we are at. It is ridiculous and unattractive.

Before I conclude, know that I am still hanging onto some hope and I desire it to come from you. I am one of those incapable minds who have lost sight to appreciate your intelligence. Now is the time, give me a reason to cherish my spectrum of fancies in form of your abounding intellect and a preserved Pakistan!

As I once was among the impeccable blindfold you have tied,

A Pakistani Sick of Tantrums

Black And White

Excitement as high as Mount Titlis, the atmosphere as loud as Nirvana, energy soaring like a stalk of whipped asparagus, Martin stepped home driven with felicity. He cascaded upon his favorite recliner and reminisced over the memories of the past few days. Life had not been so friendly before, nor were the circumstances so germane.

Few seconds of silence elapsed and Martin had no argument to encounter his own feelings with. They were far too strong and blooming from within to have bridged the gaps in his mind. All he knew was the fresh breeze blustering outside of his hood. The moon was shining in all its eminence, the night sky was dark though felt as if it was welcoming him into its fragrance. He began pouring the much craved wine in his favorite beautifully engraved crystal goblet and lit his chosen cigar that worth a king's ransom.

Excitement now shot skyrocket. Few minutes of serenity concluded rowdily. The instant of compassion evaded to meaninglessness and the dominating state of achievement transformed to bewilderment. The fireplace situated behind Martin's recliner emitted a baffling smoke that eventually grabbed every hollow space in the room. The atmosphere as loud as nirvana swished into effluvium causing him to faint as his energy withered. By this time, the smoke had readily heated the room to ravage more than one fancy items that existed. No, not the atypical fumes discharged by the fireplace. This time, it was Martin's cigar worth an arm and a leg, that lay at no distance from the exuberant goblet that beget the delicate glass smash to bits. It did seem as if it really costed him an arm and a leg, did it not?

He lay torpid on the rug in the room all night and opened eyes, the next morning. It wasn't just daybreak, but he opened eyes to change. Yes, change in form of withdrawal from excitement. The windows, mirrors and any other form of glass that were placed in the room were encapsulated in a drape of fog. The clueless lad dazed at the blur surfaces of each of them. Decrepit, he made his steps towards the recliner and the broken goblets. The next thing he touched was the window sill and the glass that mirrored his own image once his finger wiped the haze off.

The protagonist now stood firmly and gazed at his own shadow. Devoid of excitement surrounded by the distasteful atmosphere and minimal energy though, the clueless lad was no longer clueless. In fact, he withdrew from excitement only to be able to see his own self in black and white.

Contemplate, before it is too late. Withdrawal symptoms may be steep in terms of expense. Martin was only spellbound by the striking light that shone upon his eyes. It did not brighten his vision but only blocked what lay across.

Traverse through the bolt no matter how jarring it may be. Suffering a setback felt excruciating, just as Martin knew it to be.

Terminus

Worshipping and cherishing has a thin line. A line that is often blurred by the stream of emotions one finds themself in. A line that manifests a boundary but also blurs it to grow in intensity. A line that results to magnify dignity yet restricts it to morals based merely on perception. A line that defines yet denies all sense into nonsense, all logic into illogic and all wisdom into wonders wholly unsolicited, unasked, unsaid.

Cherishing generally has a boundary of sight. Whereas worship is a wonder. It inflates and often diminishes the foundation that separates it from the former. It took me several years to understand and a few instances to witness the difference between the two. To come to cherish is to love, but to worship is to vanish in the fallacies. 

The greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time you fall. But glory does not align to worship. Because worship is immortal. Worship is inextinguishable. Worship is immutable. Worship is forever abiding. It is funny because we claim love to be all the same, with it upholding all the very traits of endlessness, perdurance and indestruction. Then what is to love? Then what is to cherish? What is to delineate the divorce between the two?

There are many who we adore. A fewer that we admire. And even fewer who we love, and love not to worship, but to cherish. 

Fire is strong and has the ability to destroy come what may. But a downpour is stronger. It contains just what the fire needs to extirpate. Therefore, live to love, to cherish; not to worship. Worship to love what you know is worth the praise. 

Obliterate the flames of worship with the power of love. Cherish the power of love to chirp the absolution it brings, in fact, and not the delicacy that worship often accompanies. 

This to that one person I have always taken pride in worshipping. In all these years, I have worshipped him to cherish every second. But a superlative form of worship explains one to love to cherish, not dissipate in the sensitivity of worship. 

Love until you heart is beating. Let the magic occur after it stops. 

You are my secret ♡

Love lies in great places, being one to talk here, a confession would be to put it in perspective. But how often love traverses from dormantly inlaid specifications to subtle and then heart-throbbing, overbearing riddles can be a surprise. Come what may, love happens, if it is to and while grief accompanies most stages of its odyssey, it is alone an armor that is worth standing for. 

Expected none of the above to happen to me, yet it being done in the most graceful of ways. Expected none of it to not only emerge yet it it being done on such testing platforms, in the oddest of hours; making it only purer, sweeter and more realistic. Often the concept attached to such devotion is one of disbelief, misgivings and wrongdoings, but it happens outside the chamber of a calligraphic signature. It sees no boundary to how the hands of a clock move. It may qualify for an abuse, yet using it so makes it no different--no more, no less. 

How can an emotion so seraphic define a length of time, a location of sorts and societal boundaries. It is becoming for an affection to be questioned. After all, that is what tests it up and downhill. But while at it, it is also an unbiased form of purity. It can be wrong in the eyes of the world, yet so right. It can be subscribed to no ambit of governance under society, yet become a societal cult for all the same.

Love is the music the brings feelings to bloom. It may bury under the sands of time; but it perdurable to all throes of seizure. Although it is just as malignant to dubiety, but has the perseverance to endure paroxysm.

It is capable of going adrift. But while the rendition of it is sincere, it does not cross the great divide.